An early start...

An early start for me today as I had to be on-duty for the health screening.. It is a Wednesday so I must be in school before 6.20 am. Woke up at a few minutes before 5 a.m., I heard the call for Subuh Prayers (Azan Subuh). I got out of bed and took my shower, prepare myself for breakfast and drink lots of water. I had a few sip of warm water and ate a few spoons of my Instant Quaker Oats. Then I realized that my watch indicated 6.10 am and I rush down to start the car engine. Brought all my working bags and MacBook to the car. I drove a few blocks and reached the school compound. It was raining earlier and I saw both gates were opened. I quickly parked my car and got to the office. Put all the things that I brought onto my desk and reached the Thermoscanner, took the files and the stickers needed for the health screening.

It was barely 6.20 am when I saw about 8 students already infront of the school hall. I saw nobody around except the security guard. I started my duty and checked students temperature by myself and put the stickers on the students' tudong and shirt. I waited for about 15 minutes then came my fellow colleague who was also on-duty. He helped me out for a few 5 minutes and then came a few others. I saw that it was already 6.45am and noted that a few more teachers came for duty. I guess I was really early today and I purposely didn't ask my friend to help me out today.. :D I really appreciate his help all this while.

First period gone and I realized that there's some more task I have to do. I need to put on that smile as this hasn't been a practice for quite some time now (well, for me) and that I realized that my facial muscles aren't at their best these days..but I still have to be more cheerful again. Need to cheer myself up and that requires me to be in the potentially very good mood most of the time. One thing for sure, start small and little by little.. as time goes by then everything will be complete.

I'm quite a thinker.. yeah.. my mom used to say that when I'm still a little girl. They used to say "Makan eh.. makan pun berfikir.." I always get that while eating with my family at home. It becomes a habit and actually I don't want that to always happen. I know it's not good but it happens when there's no one talking or speaking during eating..my mind is wandering off somewhere and thinking...hehe.. so much of a thinker. sigh.. It can be avoided if people are talking and I get to talk to others in conversation.. It seems that when I'm all alone, my mind is trying out the best possible way to talking to itself..i.e. by thinking.. tough one.. I just do hope that I can be more expressive in my thinking and positive thinking.. and that when I do allow it to happen, I tend to wander off making few adjustments in my mind about other alternatives; the likes and unlikely businesses that may or may not occur, just within a few seconds. At the moment that I'm typing this, I'm actually expressing my thinking and it is a trait that I can't be departed with.

I used to teach Thinking Skills lessons to students for a few years and that I told students that everyone can think as thinking is also a skill, i.e. the thinking skill. With practice, anyone can express their thinking.. and by practicing, the way of thinking becomes more pronounced and be more better than it used to. Better ideas will come out of thinking when one do practice and write down what ideas are present during the process of doing that skill. Friends used to tell me to not think too much as it may be a burden to me.. Yeah, true.. they are right. It became a burden to me when I give ideas to the superiors and they will ask me to do all sorts of things putting it to work. Many heads are better than one. With myself thinking on my own, while the others just take the ideas and let it work.. I'm sure it will not work.. as to work in a team, the ideas need to be all ideas put together.. then it will work. I had to get so many things done within a short period of time and the ideas are quite raw and sometimes not presentable. Nobody can understand it as it may be abstract and too critical. So, right now, I'm trying my best not to think too much and just do my duties as a teacher. Unless when there's a need to think, then I will just wait for others to think and give out their ideas while I just relax my mind. :-)

Yesterday, wasn't a really good day for me as I felt that my head was spinning as I didn't get any breakfast. I got back home at around 1 pm and ate my lunch..it was as if I was breaking fast.. haha.. I suddenly felt teardrops on my cheeks.. true.. but i tried to control it.. My parents were fasting yesterday and mom cooked delicious lunch for my niece and nephew. I just remembered that I have not been able to fast (Qadha) before the month of Ramadhan. Sebak rasanya... I do hope that I'm well enough to fast as last week was quite a sick week for me..gastric. I'm also worried that my mom was not well too since last week as we had gastric and diarrhoea..and my mom had her tonsils..last night she tried to eat as much as she can but still she couldn't finish her meal. She's always showing her strong side as she doesn't want me to see her being sick and she wants me to be strong too..just like her..

After the meeting yesterday afternoon, I had to stay back till about 6 pm as I was required to prepare the timetable for the School Inspectors whom will be coming next week. I wasn't feeling all well yesterday and I was still being in my weakest point of engaging in work...but I had to..and it was an urgent matter. I knew that I was in tears while doing the timetable and it felt like I was balancing a big and heavy stuff on my head.. It wasn't easy.. but I continued my work and when it was finally done at about 6+ pm, it felt like the heavy thing was lifted off my head.. Alhamdulillah..

I know that my other friends were in the school hall playing netball.. but I just ignored them.. My plans to go for a jog had to be cancelled for that day. hummm... maybe if it is not raining today, then I just go for a stroll somewhere..

Kemarin hanya tinggal kenangan
Bersama peristiwa semalam
Adakah hari ini yang ku tempuh
Kan bersinar untuk hari esok

Benarlah apa yang telah dikata
Penantian itu satu penyiksaan
Kepastian membunuh kerisauan
Ketabahan mendamai keresahan

Dalam dada ada bara cinta yang menyala
Dalam cinta ada kita berdua
Tiada siapa bisa mengungkai rindu di jiwa
Dengan iman dapat kita membendungnya

Hanya kudrat Tuhan
Yang bisa menyatukan
Dan bisa meleraikan
Cinta sesama insan

Rahmat kasih sayang
Yang amat diharapkan
Untuk kita abadikan
Kasih di alam cinta bahagia

Work matters...

It's been quite a while I haven't been able to update my blog. I've been too caught up with work responsibilities which wouldn't allow me to at least write something up. As usual my duties as a teacher and also in the school administration, meetings, deadlines, conferences, markings, exams... all these has put me into a position where I am being some sort of a workaholic. That is why I have decided to take leave for the whole of the school term holidays.

Today is the first day of school... and there are no students of course as the students are given an extended leave for one week from 29 June 2009 to 4 July 2009. They'll be back in school again on 6 July 2009. Talk about leave for the students, I'm really hoping that they are doing their own revision at the moment.

In school today we have the contact time at 10.00 a.m. in which as usual meeting with all teachers. I've been working many hours to finish up the time table for this term and I finally got it done on the last day of the previous school term. I've been working fridays and sundays just to get that done in which I had to come back to school on my own to finish up the time table (friday and sunday). It is not an easy task where I'm the only person doing it and I had to key in all the details for all teachers for all levels and all subjects, with all the special rooms to be used and other duties that they have to do which I have to block. Alhamdulillah I did finish that off during the examination and test periods. I know that I've been spending a lot of time doing that rather than preparing my exam papers and exam marking scheme. Mungkin berkat kesabaran dan usaha yang berterusan yang membolehkan aku membuat kesemuanya sebelum bermula penggal ketiga.. Syukur Alhamdulillah..

Before giving out the timetable to teachers, I had passed it to the Principal and Deputy Principals to check it and make amendments to it before the school holidays. A few had to be amended and I made the changes. Alhamdulillah.. Done..

Students' results weren't that too good.. for both my Additional Mathematics and Mathematics 'D'. There are two students who did not make a pass for additional mathematics. As for Mathematics, I guess some have passed and improved than the previous Preliminary examination. Hope my students will improve further. Amiin..

I guess there are so many things that I wanted to post here....but I don't think that I should write it up here regarding how I felt at the moment.. It's kinda sad and I wouldn't want to disclose it. I just hope for better things to come in the future.. Insya Allah..