Merindukanmu...

Salam everyone.. :)

Been very busy early this month with lots of school work and administration duties. I am thinking very positive no matter what happen.

Hmm.... I've been singing to this tune.... well, since last year.. maybe you know the title of the song...

saat aku tertawa di atas semua
saat aku menangisi kesedihanku

aku ingin engkau selalu ada
aku ingin engkau aku kenang

selama aku masih bisa bernafas
masih sanggup berjalan
ku kan slalu memujamu

meski ku tak tau lagi
engkau ada di mana
dengarkan aku ku merindukanmu

saat aku mencoba merubah sgalanya
saat aku meratapi kekalahanku

aku ingin engkau selalu ada
aku ingin engkau aku kenang

selama aku masih bisa bernafas
masih sanggup berjalan
ku kan slalu memujamu

meski ku tak tau lagi
engkau ada di mana

dengarkan aku ku merindukanmu..

The first time when I listen to this song, I thought it was purely for those couples who've been missing each other for quite a while. Maybe you've guessed it too..

Well, when I listened to the lyrics again and again, and what those lyrics meant to me.. I would say, it is for those who are seeking the love from Yang Maha Esa.. maybe it's how I interpret it would be different from other individuals. For myself, this song always reminds me of how grateful we have to be when we always remember Allah.

When we're down, we try to look for friends who can understand how we feel and what we are going through.. but do they actually understand deep down, I mean emotionally involved in our sorrows or sadness? It is difficult to find someone who is willing to do so. All they can do is to comfort us and calm us down.. but that doesn't mean that the sorrow or sadness will go away. Thus, the one obvoius thing that we should do is always pray to Allah and be thankful that we have friends who can calm us down.. but we have to make ourselves strong by knowing that Allah is there with us. We don't have to bother about what other will think about us.

I had lunch today with a group of friends.. we talked.. and sometimes I do not agree with what others say. Well, it is my own opinion.. it doesn't have to be agreed all the time for only one person, right? Maybe you agree and maybe you don't, but whatever it is, it is up to an individual to say anything that he/she think is right. Okay, back to the conversation.. It's just that when we are talking, there's always some people who would say "No" to what you are saying. "Kasi malu saja". Why do you have to be "malu"? I guess if you have done something wrong, then it is something disgraceful, right? So, why is it that people don't want to make peace with other people, even if it is your ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend? Funny...

When I got back to work, another conversation between a group of friends, again about people and relationship that doesn't work. All of a sudden, I just couldn't believe it when a person who at first didn't agree to my first statement, told me that "ok jua tu, walaupun inda jadi the relationship, you can be friends".. Hahaha... Funny!! Hmm... So what happened to "Kasi malu saja" statement? Huh.. people.. sometimes words can be so unrealistic..

So, I guess when I listened to that song since last year, after a friend introduced me most of the songs in that album, I really like that song. And I know that song reminded me to always remember Allah in everything we do. It keeps me more motivated and be more positive.. At least "rindu" for Allah is better than missing someone who we never know will be there or whom we never know whether that person existed...

Sorry guys if my post is not what I've intended to write, but I treat this blog as my diary. So, I can write whatever I feel that is quite bothering me.. just to vent out some disappointments..

Wallahu'Alam.

Rain... when will it stop raining..

Hmm... It's been raining these few days.. and I just feel like I'm lazy to go out.. well, besides going to work that is..

Alhamdulillah.. I've recovered from flu and I'm happy that I have my voice back!! :-)
It's Friday today and when I woke up this morning I automatically jumped out of bed as I was a bit late for work. Had to go to school to run the program as I promised to give everyone a new schedule on Saturday.. so, working overtime. I had to text my friend that I'll be a bit late for work as I promised her that I'll open the school gates and unlock the admin block door.

When I arrived, my friend had already parked her car in the school compound.. hmm.. Later I found out that the security guards were on-duty every Friday for two hours. Huh.. Lucky for my friend who came earlier as she doesn't have to wait for me to be there to open the gates.

At work, I found myself really, really focus on my work and what my objectives are for today. I completed all the work that I've planned and started drawing up plans for other programmes that I will be co-ordinating this year. I'm really glad that it worked. :) Alhamdulillah.

At around 9 p.m. in the evening I received a phone call from one of the primary school headmistress.. My house phone.. wow.. people calling me to ask if I can conduct a workshop for their school.. about what? well, about the NSSCME reports. It's way past office hours, so I asked her if she could contact my boss to ask permission about letting me to conduct the workshop for the primary school teachers.

In my point of view, I wouldn't mind doing this as people should know what is actually happening in schools and especially the students' literacy skill level and also their numeracy skills... but my main concerns are;

• will I have time to conduct such workshops besides doing all my duties as the senior mistress in school?
  
• will there be enough time for me to conduct the same workshop to teachers in my school?
  
• will it not affect the time for me to get the gears started for my other programmes that I'll be co-ordinating this year?
  
• will my principal allow me to go to other schools to conduct the workshop?
• if my principal agrees on that, do I have proper time to teach my students at school who are going to sit for the O levels this year?
  
• is it going to be included in my 100-hour Professional Staff Development?

Perhaps it sound ridiculous for me to do all these as I know that I won't get paid for the extra jobs or invitation as facilitators conducting workshops.. hmm... I really need to improve on time management.

Just hope for miracles... Insyallah..

Calm... and positive..

Hi everybody.. The start of 2009 wasn't that well for me as I was having a flu (maybe because of the holidays and vacation-ing to a cooler place). I guess I haven't had enough rest after my vacation.. Still haven't got the chance to go to the spa yet. Hopefully, by the end of next week I should be able to do that.

I'm still coughing and almost lost my voice.. :(

I just hope to recover soon, as I had to 'talk' a lot, since it is my job to talk to people and convey important information.. hehehe.

After the vacation, I reported back to work on the 30th and I didn't do any office duties.. Instead, I changed the position of my desk, updated everything that's on my table and checked my mails.. :) Well, you know... first day at work at the end of the year.. hmm.. I'm sure you'll understand that. lolz..

Anyway, I began my official duties the next day, with sorting the timetable to determine who's in and who's out this year.. and which group should be put together with the other and which group should be kept aside or 'deleted'. It takes time in doing this alone as I was on my own that time.. but that's good as I can focus more on my work. On that afternoon, a colleague of mine was very helpful as he volunteered to help me with my work till about 4.30 p.m. Thank you so much!!

Though we didn't finish our work that day, we decided to continue on Saturday, our first working day in 2009.

New Year was just like an ordinary day for me.. Well, I spent my evenings watching dvd movies, lots of them.. and the next day, i.e. Friday, 2nd January, I decided to go to the atm machine to withdraw some cash.. well, just for paying the bills.. It was about 5.30 p.m... traffic congestions everywhere at the KB town.. Lots of people were shopping for their children's school necessities, like new uniforms, new books, stationery, shoes and some people were just there to be in the crowds.. maybe they want to fill in the gaps and make shopping more "meriah".. whatever..

Hmm.. so, I went to get some cash at the Main branch of this local bank atm machine, took the cash out and the receipt.. then I waited for a minute or two for my atm card... Suddenly, my card could not be retrieved!!! Oh my!! The transactions were over for about 5 minutes and I just stood there waiting for my card to be returned.. I got so frustrated that I called the Hotline number. I was then asked to call the atm hotline number.. but.. everytime I called the number, all I heard was just the busy tone... I got really upset after about 10 minutes or so that I drove back home and cancelled my plans to pay the bills.

Got back home and I had to calm myself down and think positive.. "Esok buka bank ni. Mesti kad ku ada ni dalam simpanan.." I was assuring myself to just take it easy and not think much about what happened earlier.

This morning, I was doing my work with my colleague... and I kinda lost track of time.. It was already 10.15 am. and the back will be closed at around 10.45 am on a saturday. So, I had to stop what I was doing and asked permission to go to the bank, in a hope of getting the atm card back to my possession.

I've asked a friend to drive me to the bank as it was quite congested, I mean there was traffic jam in town area. Went inside the bank and told the bank teller that my card was accidentally "swallowed" by the machine. Their usual procedure was to ask for my ID card and check if the card was still there.

Suddenly, I was told to make a Police report as the card may have been stolen!! Oh no!! The card usually will be withdrawn after a few minutes...hmm.. that's what they said. I wasn't expecting to be told to do the report or that my card was lost or stolen. I had to fill in the form to block all transactions until this morning, and I have asked them to update my bank account passbook. I checked, and I was relieved that the balance as of today, was the same as the balance as of the day before, i.e. yesterday (when the card was "swallowed")...

Alhamdulillah.. but I still have to block the card and make a new one, as they could not find my card in the machine. Okay!!

One thing before I can be issued a new atm card, was to make a police report about the lost card.. and I did, in about 10 minutes time.. Wow!! That's really fast.. though the police officer was writing quite slowly, but he didn't ask a lot of question.. unlike when I lost my purse at the mall in gadong.. hmm...

I returned back to the bank and applied for a new card.. but I had to pay $ 15 for lost card.. hmm.. I didn't know that the bank will charge people who lost any card... or.. maybe I didn't read the terms and conditions for applying the card.. hmm.. could that be it?? Well, I just don't want to think negative about this at this stage.

Went back to work to continue my timetable scheduling.. I thought I was going to have to come back on a Sunday to complete my work.. but luckily I finished it at about 5.00 p.m. Alhamdulillah..

I guess things happen for some reasons.. and I know that there will be some obstacles that we have to encounter before getting what we want as our target goal. Just hope that I can fulfill my "azam" for year 1430h and 2009m.. Insyallah..

DUIT ~~ Doa, Usaha, Ikhtiar dan Tawakkal.