Orang kata "it was not meant to be..." atau "it almost was..."... tapi tak siapa tahu keadaan sebenarnya...takut untuk mengakui perasaan yang indah itu... hanya menanti masa yang tepat untuk meluahkannya.... berkorban demi untuk menjaga hati seorang teman / sahabat yg sangat disayangi.... takut kehilangan persahabatan tersebut.... seseorang itu menafikan wujudnya perasaan tersebut walaupun terpaksa berhadapan dengan dugaan yang sangat memilukan dan menyakitkan... tapi demi persahabatan, harus ditempuhi.... hanya Allah saja yang Maha Mengetahui, Maha Pengasih, Maha Penyayang dan Maha Memahami... hanya pada Nya dia mengadu.... tiada sesiapa pun yang mengetahui... dia tahu dia bersendirian menempuhi segalanya... kerana baginya orang lain tidak perlu dilibatkan... biar dia bersendiri... mungkin ada hikmah disebalik pengorbanan yang dilakukannya itu.... biar lah berkorban kasih, asal tidak kehilangan persahabatan.... tapi setiap kali dia cuba untuk memulihkan keadaan, dia sering merasa temannya itu cuba menjauhkan diri daripadanya dan cuba untuk mengelak dari dirinya... seolah-olah kehadirannya itu tidak diperlukan lagi... dia rasa terluka tapi dia harus tabah walaupun terpaksa berhadapan dengan semuanya...

Tears... rolling down....

It's the third day of my holidays.... and I just stayed home... relaxing my foot which is still not fully recovered after the incident.. well, I just hope I got the right treatment from the clinic.. usaha..

I've been doing nothing eversince I started my leave, celebrating the New Hijrah Year 1431 Hijrah.. the very new beginning of the Islamic Calendar year.. which should be celebrated by all Muslims around the world as it is such a grand event... during which in history it was the major move from the Holy city of Mekkah to the Madinah... something that all muslims should remember and learn from hijrah... I stayed home during that event but nevertheless I still perform solat, the Do'a Akhir Tahun and Do'a Awal Tahun as it is the time where we should be praying... well, most of the time we should always say our Do'a.. no matter when or what happens.. it is also mentioned in the titah by His Majesty that we should always pray and say out our do'a...

For the three days that I'm staying home, my activity for each day is surfing the internet... well, I did that as I had to search for something that would benefit me in the future.. but nonetheless, I also played games in facebook just to release the tension from doing nothing at home.. hehe..
Never expected that I would spend most of my time in front of my laptop and be addicted to it..
yeah... I need to stop this habit.. well, for the time being I need to write up something that should be of more benefit to myself as an individual who's still trying to figure out what I would undertake in the future... hmm.... I need to start somewhere...

My mornings had been reading the Quran after solat subuh... then, I stayed up and surf the net to look for resources... in which within that I logged into my facebook account and my msn messenger..huh...it becomes habitual...ermm.... need to stop that fb-ing and msn-ing...errrgggghhh....

Yeah I truly need to prepare the writeup otherwise no one will read it and I wouldn't be accepted... hmm... eversince I had no one to talk to lately, it felt like nobody cares anymore...but...ummm.... never mind... I guess it's just my thoughts... everybody's busy... i guess... hmm... in this holiday season??? hmm... ahh... let them...

Didn't make much contact with friends now... maybe they do need time to be alone and perhaps with their families.. and I'm always home with my parents... breakfast, lunch and dinner with them as usual... :)

This afternoon, I had lunch with my parents and my brother.. all of the sudden, my dad asked if I've applied the housing or land scheme.. and i said yes, 9 year ago... owh... and he thought that if I hadn't applied it, he would want to put the land under my name... then..umm.. ok, just put it under my mum's, and also the land in kampung.. that makes me really sad to hear that... and I was almost in tears.... when he talked about his conditions and so on... it really is something we didn't expect to hear from him... oh no... Ya Allah... kuatkan lah semangat ku...tabahkan hati kami sekeluarga.... Amiin.....

Movie and reunion....

Yesterday I was really bored at work.. don't know why... and i had headache when i started typing my 100 hour psd hehehe.. I guess i need to take a break from work....
Chat with my friend on facebook and i asked if she would like to join me to watch the movie. I told her that I just want to get away from work and do things that I would like to do as if i'm on holidays heheh.. and she agreed.. Love her for that :)
we watched the movie together with a group of little prince and princesses... enjoyed the movie though once or twice i did close my eyes due to the fact that i was tired from work...
Had dinner before we watched the movie... and I met my student with her family.. what a small world hehe...
after dinner i managed to get myself some clothes to wear for the reunion with the MD batch 92/93.
after dinner, watched the movie, then we proceed to check in at the LR Asma Hotel.. it was after 12 midnight that i went to bed, couldn't sleep earlier... yet i don't want to think too much...
woke up around 7 am and got out of bed, took shower and got dressed.. my friend had to leave early this morning as she had to go to the fish market and buy necessities for making the meal for lunch...
i went out to get my 'brunch' around 10 am.. ate wet seafood kuey tiaw at the usual place... hehe
i actually wanted to watch another movie at the cinema but i had to change my plan as it was already almost 12.30 noon and i've promised to meet my other friend to go together to the reunion.
i remembered that i had to check out of the room by 2 pm.. and so i went back to the hotel for dzuhur prayers and packed my things. getting ready for the reunion.. got dressed and i asked my friend to meet me somewhere near Hua Ho Sengkurong.. i checked out at 2.15 pm and i drove my lexus to meet my friend at the meeting place.
We went to the reunion together and we had great time meeting our other friends after 17 years of not meeting each other after we left school to pursue further studies. A lot of people changed after 17 years, most are married with kids and there are still a few (including myself) who are still single. hehe.. no worries lah... :)
We planned to have another reunion next year just to meet up and catch up with current happenings and what we are doing at the moment. InsyaAllah we'll be having another reunion in three years time for the 20th anniversary.. Hoping for much bigger event and a lot more fun, by perhaps inviting our juniors and seniors as well (including my two brothers eheh)..
got back home around 7.20 pm in the evening..
hmm.... tomorrow is monday,.. working day again.. had to get up early and get to work early.