It's my second visit to the hospital this month, it was just two nights ago I had to get an MC due to high fever. Alhamdulillah so far my body temperature has gone back to normal.. This time I couldn't stand making frequent visits to the loo.. hmm... it seems that every food or drink that I consumed had to be removed from the body. Well, all that was discharged by the body was fluid n very loose..you know what it's like when you are having diarrhoea. That's how it is and makes me kinda weak as I'm losing my appetite due to all that happened. The food n water that goes in, goes out in about say half an hour's time.. My tummy is also making a lot of sounds, like it's playing a tune when you're really hungry for food! I know that I need food for energy, so I'm trying my best to get rid of all the sounds but I still couldn't get myself to eat more food.. :(
I realize that whenever my tummy makes those annoying sounds it means that the sign to visit the loo... hmm.... talking about the sounds... now it made the sound and it felt like I have to go to the loo.. Hope to recover really soon..
Ya Allah please help me go through this with patience and make me strong and healthy so I can perform my duties to My Creator and also to those in need... Amiin ya Rabbal Alamiin..

Sihat dan sakit adalah anugerah dari Allah subhanahu wataala dan kita harus bersyukur dan redha dengan kehendaknya..

Sejak akhir ani, aku selalu mengadu seringkali gastrik dan sakit kepala.. itu lah tanda stress sepertimana yag dinyatakan oleh teman karib saya. Memang betul.

Tidak dinafikan byk tugasan yg perlu dilakukan tanpa mengira waktu, dan seringkali permintaan dari pihak atasan sangat menguji kesabaran saya. Saya cuba penuhi mana yg boleh dilakukan, tapi yg tak mampu tu, saya surrender lah.. ada lagi org lain yg layak dan boleh melakukannya.. Kadang terfikir nak berhenti sahaja dari melakukan pekerjaan yg agak keterlaluan itu, yg sehingga mengabaikan masa saya untuk mengajar... tapi sungguh sukar untuk menolak atas alasan sukar mencari org lain untuk melakukan tugasan. Sebetulnya tidak susah, asal rajin dan berkarih mencari, semua yg diinginkan itu pasti dapat dicapai, termasuk pemilihan pekerja.

Demam yg dialami sejak malam khamis lalu memberikan kesedaran pada ku untuk lebih berhati2 dalam melakukan tugasan agar tidak mengalami kesengsaraan yg teruk akibat dari kurang rehat dan tidak cukup tidur. Tambahan lagi masalah peribadi yg sering mengganggu fikiran saya..

Nak buat macam mana? bersabar lah saja...

Feeling sad and disappointed... that's how I felt at the moment... somehow I feel that there's some sort of rejection from ppl around me... esp those that I care about...

Only Allah knows how it's like to be me... and I have to go through this on my own... with patience... it's quite embarassing too but that's how I have to learn about myself. I guess there will be lots of rejection in ones life compared to acceptance for being someone special to someone or be a part of something important.

When you really need someone to talk to or just to accompany you, they weren't there for you. It just leave someone in tears and felt embarassed for being rejected an offer... perhaps some would feel sad and at the same time angry when ppl turn them down... the feeling of being unwanted and left out creates negativity in a person... he/she wouldn't dare to make the offer again and just wait if other would offer them... it's kinda sad..

Ya Allah, please give me strength to go through this... I'm just so scared of being rejected and neglected... I also want to be happy... please guide me to be a better person... Amiin Ya Rabbal Alamiin...