Salam..
It's been quite a while I have not updated my blog. Well, I've been busy with lots of scheduling and my duties doesn't allow me to have much time to post something here. My days have been filled with lots of markings, setting of classwork, homework to students, and also preparing the format template for SBA for Year 7 and Year 8 to be used this year for our school, reorganising the new timetable for new teachers, doing the analysis for the BGCE O Level exam 2008, preparing slide presentation (while cracking my brains) on how to give full support to all the academic programmes and not forgetting my tiny part in the homework care programme, managing relief periods for classes without English teachers (we are in DESPERATE need for THREE MORE English teachers!!!) because we only have 2 local teachers, 1 contract teacher and 2 CFBT teachers teaching in our school, and also for classes without Combined Science teachers (we need TWO MORE Science teachers), as well as TWO Home Economics teachers, and we need at LEAST ONE MALE Physical Education teacher (we ONLY have ONE FEMALE teacher at the moment, so the boys had to be taught by teachers who do not have any BASIC Training in PE) and not forgetting LOTS of meetings.
January was very hectic for me with lots of things to do, I had OverTime twice on a Friday which I worked from 8.00 a.m. till 4.00 p.m. in school with my dear friend. Once I had to mark my students' work from 2.00 p.m. NON-STOP till 11.00 p.m. in the evening. Wow, such an accomplishment.. I really do hope that people can understand what I've gone through the past few weeks. Ermm.. It has come to my attention that during meetings, it seems like when I start to come up with some certain ideas, people tend to 'talk behind' and disregard whatever it was I had suggested. Maybe they "know" too much that I do not have to share my ideas.. or perhaps they just want me to "stop" giving ideas which they had thought of earlier.. hmm.. why not give that idea in the first place before I came up with it..? that would be their "original" idea if I hadn't spoken about it.. "Ahh.. ia saja ni kan bagi idea.. macam tah orang inda tahu.. konon pandai tia.. si tahu.." Hrmm... well, for those people who have those kind of thought in their minds, I'm just letting you know that I have no intention of taking your ideas and that nobody knows it somebody's ideas unless it is made known by somebody. Have I spoken about the true fact here? I'm just speaking out what I think is logical and sensible, which can be accepted by anyone who have been in my situation. I'm no actor to being "mengada2" or "too much info" or "being a know-what-who" person. Whatever it is, I never have anything on you guys. Not even a slightest thought.. but when it is something that bothering and that there is not much feedback or respond after giving several instructions.. I guess it sure means that there is some kind of "coaching" done with some groups of individuals. So sorry to have to write things in this post.. but it's my personal blog which I treat like my diary.. Well, I'm sure you have your own responsibility with your own position in school and I have my duties and responsibility as well which, I dare say, is much more demanding than yours. So, think about it..
I understand that sometimes we may make mistakes as we are only human. Of course, I agree with that. I remember several times that I requested to have an assistant for my post, but I never did get any one to help me. So, I had to do everything on my own just to get everything done. My friends already commented on my work as being too much for me and a friend told me not to be a "Superwoman" as in doing other people's work while doing my own work at the same time.. Yeah, I admitted that I always help others and I end up not helping myself.. and become so helpless. Who wants to help? I'm sure no one.. I've tried that before.. Asking people to help me to do something.. "Ada sesiapa mahu tolong aku...?".. Everybody just looked at me with blank faces for a few seconds and then continued with their own businesses.. lolz.. funny.. Hmm.. thank you.. at least I get a chance to continue my studies, berkat usaha dan keikhlasan ku...Alhamdulillah... It's ok I was not helped, but I'm just sad if people doesn't want to volunteer unless it is being "stated in the Memo".. Huh?? What happened to being Pro-Active?? Hahaha... I can count... only a handful.. Good.. but I guess it's not enough just being pro-active in the classroom.. Ok.. I guess it's enough being said.
I will not add so much more.. just let it be.. I'm just venting out those "unwanted air", to avoid from inhaling too deeply and get drowned in suffocation.. Let me be free from those strong negative vibes and focus on my work. I guess I'm just so stressed out.. Hopefully I can release it...